My Orthodox Journey: So Far…

“Well how was it?” There it was. My wife had asked and I had to answer and I had to answer her honestly. Fortunately, I only had to look at her, her response was a simple “oh no”. I just nodded and said, “I loved it”. I had experienced my first Orthodox Liturgy and knew before it was over that I could never leave it. I had found the Faith and it was nothing like what I always thought it would look like.

Two years before, I had begun to look at the early church. Among the earliest Church Fathers, those men who had sat and studied at the feet of the 12 apostles when they were yet living, I saw things being practiced that on the surface looked “more catholic” than what I was doing in my church and had to take a strong look at Catholicism. Although I saw similarities it seemed to me that they had added some things to what the early church Fathers had prescribed. Not to be detoured in my search for a more formal church setting and also because a friendship developed with a Lutheran Priest I looked a the Lutheran Faith, but found much in the worship that had no scriptural support, and they themselves held to “scripture alone”.

So although I had seen some “catholic like” practices in the early church, the early church did not seem altogether Roman Catholic. It was here my protestant faith seemed to be strengthening but my faith in church was waning. I started to wonder if any church had it right. I was also wondering why God left it up to me all by myself to look at the Bible and derive all of what was correct and not correct about what Christianity really is. I mean I was reading and studying more than most laypersons I knew and more than even some pastors I knew. As my local church services started to look more like a pep rally than a church service, I became more and more disillusioned with what church services were supposed to be. I began to wonder if St. Peter and St. Paul would have been clapping and singing to the beat of the alternative percussion section of our new praise band. I mean could a wa-wa pedal on a Fender Stratocaster actually contribute more to me communing with the Almighty GOD? I know this may sound bitter or detached but I want to be very honest as to how I felt. The more I read of the lives of the Apostles and their successors I would say with confidence that there is little about our modern worship service that they would recognize.

As you can see my disillusionment was setting in. In my study of the early Church and what the most modern of scholars had written I was coming to one basic conclusion. That is, without much study you can see that the protestant evangelical church of today looks nothing like the church I grew up in, in the 70’s. With even more study you’ll see that the church of the mid 1900’s bares very little resemblance to the church of the late 1800’s. We see that since the reformation the protestant church continues to change and evolve in direct response to culture. So my one logical conclusion is simply, either God made his church to constantly ride the wave of the ever-changing culture, or it’s not to be effected by culture at all. To be honest, while researching both ideas I was hoping for the former, as the latter would seem to leave allot of egg on my spiritual face.

It was this time that I had entered some discussions with some friends who were Orthodox. I was more impressed with their demeanor than anything else. From them I first heard, and later confirmed, that Church of Rome broke from the rest of the Church, not the other way around. I learned that the Orthodox Church does not believe in purgatory and that their parish priests were married. At that point I realized there was one more option that had to be eliminated. I had to investigate the one church that claimed they guarded the Faith through history and were unaffected by culture. I looked up the Orthodox Churches in my town, sent my wife and kids to the church we normally attended and headed off alone to visited Holy Apostles Orthodox Christian Church. I went mostly to eliminate the possibility that this could be the true Church, uncorrupted by this world and it’s culture.

Well as I said in the opening of this article, I loved it. I have gone to church my whole life hoping that if we do everything right, good music, good sermon, good response that maybe God would show up. Well I found myself surrounded that first Sunday with people who came expecting God to show up. Just like he has done every service sense Pentecost. Although friends and family have questioned my decision, I cannot turn back. I am becoming Orthodox everyday. The Orthodox Church is a treasure of spiritual mystery that enriches our lives through the Holy Spirit day by day. For some reason I spent my whole Christian Life studying the first century of Christianity and then ignoring everything else up till the Reformation. The fact is that Orthodoxy has been here the whole time.

It has been a true joy to read of the Church Fathers and understand that the Church of Antioch in the book of Acts, where they were first called Christians, is still in existence today, as is the church in Jerusalem and many others. Churches the Apostles of Christ Himself started and who’s leadership they appointed, who in turn continued to appoint leadership up to this present time. At times I feel late for the party. As if I should have known all this before. But the fact is, it’s not unusual to discover these things later into our protestant life. In fact you can read of Clark Carlton, Frank Schaeffer, Peter Guillquist and many other prominent Protestant ministers and laypeople who have experienced the same types of discovery. When I think of the courage these men showed in following their convictions and embracing the truth, it becomes much easier for me.

Pray for me as I continue on my journey that I may over come the hardships that accompany such a dramatic spiritual transition, but I promise you that the “the Joy of Lord is My Strength” has real meaning beyond the kids chorus I grew up singing. I am truly blessed and experiencing God’s grace in a very real way.

I will add that if I at all offended anyone by what I have written, I deeply apologize. I wish only to convey my feelings and trials as I felt them during that time.